Orange You Glad I’m Back?

It’s been a while. Stuff has been happening. Biological stuff. As in a tiny creature is currently doing the Electric Bugaloo on my kidneys. Yeah, the tequila worked. I am making a tiny human. And in all honesty, it’s quite exhaustive work that makes most extraneous projects (read: anything other than eating in my car) pretty difficult. It also is a silver bullet for getting out of a myriad of things, from lifting heavy objects to obeying traffic laws. It might also be a cop-out for not writing blog entries, something at which I’m spotty regardless of pant size. And pecking away at a keyboard while shoving Moose Munch into my mouth is basically all I do anymore so why not do something constructive? Or, at least get my husband to stop asking when I intend to ‘turn off Law & Order and do something about those Halloween pumpkins’.

So, an update is long overdue. While scouring my half addled brain for ideas, I decided to take a quick look at the current cultural landscape for some topical inspiration. And immediately I was met with a singular, overwhelming theme.

NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 09: Donald Trump and Melania Knauss-Trump attend the Comedy Central Roast Of Donald Trump at the Hammerstein Ballroom on March 9, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images) Original Filename: GYI0063876060.jpg

Orange. So much orange.

Which is perfect as orange wine is actually enjoying a bit of a hipster renaissance. And as it increasingly pops up in weird corners of wine lists, more and more people have been asking me about it.

Orange wine is kind of the badass step-cousin to rosé, if rosé’s WASPY mom married into a family of repo men who love the Steelers. While rosé is pink and glistening, doesn’t like to swear and carries Nicholas Sparks novels around in her Michael Kors bag, orange wine is loud and tans too much and refuses to wear panties. Orange wine’s name is Trisha.

Ok. That’s not really accurate. Orange wine is kind of the opposite of rosé. While rosé is made from red grape varietals and the juices are left to macerate on the skins for just long enough to glean color and flavor, orange wine is made from white varietals and is left to macerate for a very long time, more like a red wine. This allows the process to extract as much color and tannin as possible resulting in a very unique wine. It’s typically an amber hue, often times a bit cloudy, and can exhibit an array of flavors, from mushrooms to stewed apricot skins.


Orange wines have been made in the Republic of Georgia, Italy and Slovenia for centuries, but like all weird and kind of cool things, hipsters are jumping on ship, too. And as is the case with all crafty, hipster nonsense, there is a hefty price tag. Most domestic bottles don’t dip far below $25.

As this wine is definitely acidic with grippy tannins, follow my famous advice, “Eat something, you goddamn alcoholic” to really get the most out of it. This wine shines best alongside substantial foods such as roasted Brussels sprouts, fatty charcuterie, and salty hard cheeses such as Pecorino.

There you go. Something orange and incredulously popular that won’t try to kick all the Mexicans out.

It’s good to be back!

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